Ms. Charlotte, blondie, blondie, you’re the one.
To make what’s s’posed to be my bath time so much fun.
This duck don’t want a rubber; you’re the type
To let me win up in you with my Great White Hype.
You’re the reason that the Earth needs the rain.
And now the direct cause of fifty mattress stains.
Your blonde locks cascading down your neck, a hair trek;
My molten lava cascading down Mt. Peck, don’t let my magma set.
My Spock leaves a speck, living long and prospered yet.
You’re tall and dirty like a Bob Saget set; g-string on my fret.
Your skin’s like a porcelain doll in a case;
Your body’s got a topography like a trip on The Amazing Race.
Valleys, peaks, and caves that need exploring,
You remind me of the winter so these nuts of mine I’m storing.
But a squirrel like me’s got to eat:
And I wanna squeak you with my squeakum in your squeak.

You’re so fine, (but) you’re just a dream in my mind, mind, mind, etc.
You’re not mine, you’re just a dream in my mind, mind, mind, etc.

Do you remember meeting me in the fifth grade?
When, like a spelunker, ennui de-funker, in my cave you belayed?
Don’t worry, I’m not a hard rock that’ll cause you harm,
But I wanna trap you and five days later cause a cramping arm.
You soared into me like a lark, an autumn stroll through the park;
Gave my Edison a spark like a Boobies link on Fark,
All the angels sing “Hark”; you’re better than a week of sharks.
All because I heard you gave better head than Eddard Stark.
You’re a Halloween at the end of every week.
Cause you’re a trick who makes me nicely beg for your treats.
But there’s no razor blades in my nutty good bar;
And I swear my safety crash rating’s always four-star.
If you could see me for me beyond a glance,
I could spray your legs with Windex and see me in your pants.
My dick’s a CSI screen, and you will scream “Enhance!”
The crime is not loving me; your parole’s giving me a chance.

You’re so fine, (but) you’re just a dream in my mind, mind, mind, etc.
You’re not mine, cause you’re just a dream in my mind, mind, mind, etc.