First things first: I’m a Klingon.
Got my diagonal warrior bling on.
Got my Qo’dok and my Bat’leth
My tricorder, hypo-spray, and blood-stained, sharpened Mak’leth.
I could help you with your latex application,
But I’m running late for a Trek Ball pre-dance libation.
By night I’m a soldier who keeps bringing all the pain, and--
By day a Burger King assistant-manager-in-training.
If you’re gonna step, you better bring a phaser,
Cause while I’m Kirkin, you’re red-shirtin’ down on Qasar,
That’s my home world, my glorious hovel,
Please my backstory’s longer than a Hemingway novel.
I’m so cosplay!
It’s okay to be
So #jelly
Check the tweets of my frenemies.
I’m so cosplay!
This is my tenth con.
Here’s my appearance schedule,
So you can get your eye-boner on.
On Monday I might try a zombie Kaylee-Frye.
Whose nethers aren’t tethered and never stay so dry.
On Tuesday I’m lovin’ my Ferengi named Gruzzin’,
Who’s Quark’s mother’s brother’s thrice-removed second cousin.
On Wednesday it’s Steam, so I’m gonna clean
More brass and gold pieces than McDuck’s ever seen.
On Thursday I’m Link, and I really think
He’s better in a mech-suit that’s a leopard-print pink.
That leaves Friday, Friday, so what do you say, you say?
I’m the gatekeeper bitch, and you’re in my way, my way.
I be that Z-U-U-L and there ain’t no more,
Cause it’s only Zuul little fool, and there’s the door.
(Say it:) I’m so cosplay!
It’s okay to be
So #jelly
I would too if I weren’t me.
I’m so cosplay,
People stop and stare,
You can look all you want
Just don’t touch my authentic hair.
Trash the hotel!
Let’s get drunk on our mana juice.
Find the drum room.
Time to get all fast & loose.
Yeah keep on chanting in sync,
Motion the health potion and makin’ the kink.
Yeah keep on banging the toms,
Appease spirits’ wrath and let’s get it on!
(Ow-ow!)
Still rockin’ my lightsaber,
Got the whole con wonderin’ how I made her.
Got the parts from my steel workin’ neighbor,
So I can be a half-Ewok Vader.
Or Leia or Lukie or blade-wielding Wookiee,
Or a Twi’lek’s a bi-mech Sith-hatin’ cookie.
Or Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, or Jedi-killin’ Dooku,
Cause as Yoda say, “Only live once you do.”
I’m so cosplay!
It’s okay to be
So #jelly
I would too if I weren’t me.
I’m so cosplay!
It’s okay to be
So #jelly
I would too if I weren’t me.
